Day 6 - Task Complete

So I yank the rope...and dammit, the scepter gets hung on something, the creepy voice asks who is invading his space and the door slams shut, and I guess I'm leaving that scepter behind. Fine. Whatever. I didn't want it anyway. Stupid scepter.

There's only one path left that we haven't taken, so we take it, and lo and behold, more gnolls. They're guarding a portcullis with a bunch of younglings behind it. Shintauro and Water Elf chick sneak towards them, but they're far enough away from us and Knought's armor is clinking and clanking, so we get spotted, and it's time to throw down again.

This fight doesn't last too long, but Shin gets busted up pretty bad and I end up taking out two of the gnolls myself before we're clear. I shouldn't have to do all this killing. I'm a captain-commander for Maglubiyet's sake. Shintauro should be killing these people. Anyway we decide to rest here, and when we're done we let the kids go. There's a ladder in the wall that leads up to a hole in the ceiling, which leads to the ground level. The kids will make a nice distraction.

We find another door, and beyond that one is a chasm room. I've never seen a chasm room before. There's a path through the chasm room that leads to two different doors, and off the side of the path on both sides is a 75 foot drop into darkness. Don't want to fall off of there. We decide that since I'm the lightest and we don't want to fight on that pathway that we'll get whoever's behind those doors to come out and chase me and we'll make them fight in the danger zone.

The magic compass points to the door off to the left, so of course I head to the other door and open it. Holy Maglubiyet's beard! It's One-Eye! He's blind, and has a cloth tied over his normal eyes, but he wears a circlet that has a gem in the front, so I see where he got his nickname. He's ready for me too, blasting me hard with a chaos bolt as soon as I open the door.

I'm starting to think this plan is terrible. What was I thinking?

I run, but he's slowed me, and two of his gnoll archers put arrows in me. Damn that hurts. That hurts a lot. I'm definitely going back to standing in the back and shooting magic at people. Let Knought and Shin get shot. This sucks.

The plan was for everyone to wait at the entrance to the chasm room until I bring these guys to them, but here comes the big minotaur, shouldering his way down the path to get involved in the fight. Way to follow orders, sarge. I quaff an invulnerability potion and then we just start to unload on these fools. We'd rather kill them on the path so we can loot them, but sure enough the first one falls off the side into the dark chasm, and then it just becomes a motif as we drop them one by one off the side. All but one of them.

We head to the last door to open it up, knowing Voodoo Taz is behind there, thanks to our handy dandy compass, but...the door is locked. Like seriously locked. Like the Water Elf girl and Shintauro are both shrugging their shoulders. They've never seen a lock so complex. And the door is made of stone so we're not just going to be able to bash our way in there.

Now I have to tie a rope to myself and have Knought and Shin lower me down there to search our dead enemies for keys. I get down to the bottom and find the dead gnolls, but One-Eye is gone. He left a bloody trail behind, and no key. He did leave his headwear though, so I grab that and get yanked to back up to the path.

We spend some time trying to figure out what to do, then I figure I'll give it a shot, throw on the headband and walk over to the door. Sure enough the lock clicks open, and there's Voodoo Taz!

Frazzle tries to tell him that we're here to take the job, but he's bound and gagged and probably can't hear us. We untie him, grab everything in the room, and now it's time to head back to town. First though, we find some papers, bills of sale for slaves to the humans, and a note from Warchief Krazzic warning One-Eye that we're coming. We knew that guy was dirty.

Water Elf girl can't wait to get to that bar with some cash in her pockets...

NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION


Todd: I hate the Dark Crystal.
Eli: Me too! It's the Gelkins! I want them to die.
Renee: That's why you hate me?
<Everone>: ???
Renee: You always want to kill the elf. It's because you hate Gelkins!
Travis: Yeah...that's why he hates you.
Farone: I just like the fact that she's been trying to figure that out for years.


***


Travis: Use your magic.
Todd: I don't have like a telekinesis spell or anything.
Travis: You have Mage Hand!
Todd: No I don't.
Travis: Yes! You do!
Todd: I really don't.
Travis: ALL wizards have Mage Hand!
Todd: I'm not a wizard. I'm a sorcerer.
Travis: Oh. Well, then no, you don't have it.


***


Farone: It's a good thing we're not stuck in a maze.
Travis: It's ok, I'd be able to get us out.
Dave: Why is that?
Travis: I'm a minotaur! We live in mazes!
Todd: Not by choice.


***


Dave: He hit all of us.
Tony: 27 Will? Yeah, that's gonna hit all of us.
Eli: It's not gonna be that bad.
Todd: Says the guy who's not about to take that damage...


***


Travis: Aha! Ruthless Demonstration! Would he like to surrender?
Eli: Don't you have to roll something?
Travis: Intimidate! I roll...12. No, 16 with my bonus.
Eli: <rolls> No. He's not surrendering.
Travis: Ok, fine. New plan. Would he like to surrender...please?


***


Todd: I'm gonna hit that guy that's minus 5 AC...18 vs. Willpower.
Dave: Uh...
Eli: I'm confused...
Todd: Oh, I don't have any attacks that target AC.


***


Farone: Use your healing surges! I am! Follow my lead, people!


***


Eli: Wait, you don't have to eat? But you have to breathe, right?
Farone: Nope. Warforged. I have no reason to eat, drink, sleep or breathe.
Eli: Huh. And yet you can still be poisoned...


***


Farone: We've uncovered almost the entire map.
Travis: That's because we never go where we're supposed to.
Dave: Yes, but we've been searching everywhere.
Travis: We have a magic f*cking compass that tells us exactly where to go!
Dave: And we've been actively using it to avoid completing this dungeon!


***


Renee: What's the difference between a goblin and a fey goblin?
Todd: Fabulousness.


***


Renee: I'm going back to signal the others that it's safe.
Travis: You don't actually know the signals.
Renee: I'm frantically signalling them from the bottom of the ramp.
Todd: I don't know what she's miming...purple? Dog house? Taco?
Farone: Great. Now I want tacos.


***


Tony: We need to triangulate our position more often.


***


Travis: I'll take my steaks...bloody.
Dave: There's something really disturbing about the Minotaur saying that.


***


Travis: I'm bloodied.
Eli: You're always bloodied.
Farone: We really should just tape that bloodied marker to your character.


***


Travis: I'm the rogue. I'm taking all the loot.
Renee: No! You know who gets loot? People who brought pencils!
Travis: I have a pencil.
Renee: You stole it from Tony!
Travis: I know! I'm a rogue!


***


Farone: How hurt are you guys? Are you bloodied?
Tony: No.
Todd: We're good.
Renee: I think they're fine.
Farone: Good. I'm out of heals, so they better be.


***


Renee: How sparkly is that headband?
Farone: Very. It's a circlet of perception.


***


Renee: He found the two things that were good for him and he kept both of them.
Travis: Hey! I showed it to Dave before I took it back and kept it.


***


Travis: Everyone remember, and it's apparently just me,
but if you're standing next to Tony, you get +1 to AC.
Hey, that rhymed!
Todd: Of course it did, you said it in iambic pentameter.


***


Farone: Why do we get +1 AC for standing next to Tony?
Tony: Because it rhymes, I think.

Day 5 - Statuesque

Yeah, we're sneaky. That's right. Sgt. Shintauro strangles one of the guards and I break out that invisibility potion I've been hanging on to and slide up to the fire to Chaos Bolt the hell out of the two sleeping gnolls. There's another one around the corner, but Knought and Frazzle are here to help. Tree guy assists Shintauro and between him and that panther they take down another gnoll. Things are getting crazy. We actually convinced one of the gnolls to surrender, but since none of us speak wet dog the Tree guy just ends up ripping his throat out.

There's nothing interesting back here, so we head back to the front, and lo and behold the Gnolls have put up a sign in front of a closed door. I didn't think they could read, let alone write. Both Shin and Frazzle have magic glasses and apparently the gnolls put up a sign that says "Don't go in here, you'll die" or something along those lines. So, of course we open that door.

Shintauro spots the tripwire pretty quickly, but cuts it too close and we get to see the poison darts fly across the room that would have shredded us if we'd gone in too quickly. All right, seems safe now, so we head over to the giant stone door and push our way into a giant room with three huge, ugly statues.

There's a passage off to one side and Shintauro downs a potion and assures me there's something worth checking out in that vestibule. I don't know what he's drinking but it's some good stuff. There's gold in there, along with some other valuables and a silver statue of the Death God Nerull with jade eyes...I hold out as long as I can before I grab it and stuff it in my cloak.

Outside I head over to the tapestry in the back of the room, and hey, look, another little chamber. This one has a scepter in it, beautiful hand carved wood, gold inlay, and a silver skull of Nerull (the death god) with green gems for eyes. Nerull's got style. For a Death God.

So of course I take that, and then of course the Statues come to life and try to beat the hell out of us. I spend the whole fight dazed, but throwing every spell I can remember from one corner. Shintauro gets beat all to hell, Knought gets beat all to hell, Tree guy gets beat all to hell...hey, where's Water Elf Fish Girl?! Turns out she didn't follow us, just hung back. Probably magically communicating with her parents or something.

Frazzle manages to keep us all alive, Tree guy summons a tiny dragon (something I didn't know he could do) and when the statues finally go down they explode into tiny shards, ripping through us and doing even MORE damage. Gods, Nerull doesn't play. He really is a Death God.

So, now we try to leave again and some strange wind comes blowing through the chamber, and holy gnoll crap! The statues are reforming!

Ok, looks like I have to leave this scepter behind. Wait...I'm gonna tie a string to it and see if we can yank it out from other side of the door...

NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION


Dave: The Drake causes him a -5 to his attack rolls.
Todd: We need more Drake!
Farone: We should all have one of those!
Todd: First thing when we get back to town, we're all buying a Drake.


**


Dave: So...Travis has his back to me?
Travis: Wait, is it time for you to stab me?


**


Farone: I cast a spell called 'Altered Luck'. Basically it sucks all the luck out of that gnoll and infuses it into Tony.
Travis: Oh, good. Tony just got lucky with a gnoll.


**


Travis: Dave I'm tired of your lies!
Farone: Aw, why? I look forward to them.


**


Dave: I switched some of my powers because I never used them. They were difficult to...
Travis: Pronounce?


**


Tony: What should I do? Hit that guy?
Travis: Move over there and kill that guy.
Dave: I've been fighting that guy for 5 rounds! He's got like 1 hit point left!
Travis: Tony! Go over there and steal Dave's kill!


**


(After killing a gnoll)
Travis: I didn't even know that guy! Think what I'll do to all of you!
Farone: Not much. We've seen you fight.
Travis: I...I've killed a lot of people...
Farone: Meh.


**


Travis: I push this door open. Wait. Is it heavy?
Todd: You have the robot.
Farone: But I'm weak. Wait, first, I'm not a robot. Second, I'm very intelligent, but not very strong.
Travis: So you can't help with the door?
Farone: I can't help you push it open, but I can tell you what you're doing wrong...your leverage is way off.


**


Tony: Let's see what I have left...I have a Blast 3 Death Angel.
Farone: That sounds awesome!
Travis: Plus, it comes with a free teleport.


**


Eli: Take 2 points of damage.
Travis: I take 1 point of damage.
Farone: Nope. My aura ended.
Travis: I take 2 points of damage.