Taz has changed his mind and apparently now he wants us to go try to start up the portals. He only knows where three of the five portals are, but he's helpfully marked them on a map for us. Oh, also, he doesn't know how to activate them, so the plan appears to be for us to go to a portal and hope that there's some kind of instructions carved into it. This will probably work out fine.
We're spending the day selling all the items we have and Shintauro is using my diplomacy abilities to get us the best prices on things. I was doing fine for a while then I got distracted thinking about soup and lost us 25 gold on one transaction. They all glared at me for a second until Frazzle pointed out that we were still up about 200 gold thanks to my bargaining skills. I like that warforged. He's smart.
Skumz, the guy fencing all our, uh...found property, tells us Taz is crazy and that we should have nothing to do with going to try to start these portals up. He claims the Skylords will kill us and eat us, or hang us on their walls or something. He tells us he has a better plan in mind, which is for us to go to human cities and rob them. He even has a map of some mansion owned by a banker in a nearby city. He's willing to cut us a deal for all the stuff we bring back.
We have to decide what we're going to do. We head back to Taz and he gives us a book that teaches us how to pilot the airship since the pilot refuses to go with us (he was a jerk when we first met him, so I'm not surprised). Frazzle opts to learn piloting and we don't argue with him. We spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out how far we can go in a day, and then we head off.
Despite our offer from Skumz we head towards the first portal. I figure the best thing to do is a flyby, see how well guarded it is. If it's heavily guarded maybe we'll go be pirates and steal things from the humans. If it looks relatively safe we'll check the portal.
And now we're flying...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Travis: She's like, look at these, these look cool! I'm like that's 600,000 gold! She says, "I don't look at prices."
Renee: I don't!
Travis: Oh, you must be a woman. I've heard of you.
***
Eli: I'll give you better treasure when you start role playing better!
Renee: I was hoping to get these magic shoes that fit the theme of my character!
Eli: Seriously?
Renee: What?! That's kind of like role playing.
***
Renee: Wait, is one of those portals in the water? Cause if so I may finally be of some use to you guys.
***
Eli: I'll give you 150.
Todd: 125! Wait! Sh*t! I forgot how much we were getting.
Eli: Sold for 125!
Todd: Dammit!
Travis: You are a terrible negotiator.
***
Todd: I'd like to point out that you have diamond earrings and no one in this party is sleeping with you.
Farone: That's probably a good thing. She is half squid.
Todd: I'm a goblin. What's your point?
***
Travis: Write it down, circle it, put it on the fridge. I don't give a f*ck!
***
Eli: You can travel about 50 miles in 10 hours.
Farone: Hm...I like Renee's math better now.
Renee: Yeah, my math got us there in one day.
Farone: Yeah, we're going with that.
***
Farone: I'm gonna read the book and learn the piloting skill.
Travis: Yeah, me too.
Farone: It's an intelligence based skill.
Travis: Oh. Well, you do it then.
***
Farone: How do we make the airship move forward?
Eli: Well, you don't have any sails yet, and you haven't upgraded the airship, so...
Travis: Elf girl! Get in the back and blow!
***
Eli: Make a nature check.
Renee: Um...19.
Travis: Yep. That's wind.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Day 7 - Krazzik
I feel so much more powerful...but I digress. We've rescued Voodoo Taz and it's time to make our way back to Bogskunk.
Voodoo Taz is full of all sorts of useful information. Like the fact that he doesn't have a Fey Goblin apprentice. The fact that he knew Krazzik was going to sell him out. The fact that he still has a job for us to do, only it's a different job than rescuing him from a bunch of gnolls.
See, Taz wants to resurrect Ten Claws, the old orc General who united the tribes of greenskins in the first place. Only some Archmage named Renaldar knows that's his plan and is doing everything in his power to keep Taz from completing this goal. See Taz had a map he made of all the places they buried parts of Ten Claw's body (which they cut into 4 pieces for some reason, like a quartered chicken) only somebody stole it while he was being held hostage. We're guessing that was Loopy the fake apprentice.
There's also a book, written by Cyfus Necros, or something like that, that details all the things that happened to Ten Claws after uniting the tribes and winning the war. Voodoo Taz thinks bringing him back will allow us to retake the lands that the humans and demi-humans stole from us.
He's got a plan, which somehow involves us invading a human school of magic, and meeting with some agent of his named Harper, but before we delve into all that there's another loose end the rest of us are more interested in tying up: Krazzik.
We take Taz and head over to Krazzik's to confront him, and this is when we have to deal with his two ogre-y bodyguards. This fight should go quickly, because we pretty much get to unload knowing that we're going to get some rest shortly after. We burn everything we have. Plant guy is knocking people down, Voodoo Taz is reigning down fire from the heavens and the rest of us are just going hog wild on these fools.
We finally burn them to the ground and Taz uses some kind of demon bottle to suck Krazzik's soul out of his body and put him on the ground. I have a bad feeling we haven't seen the last of Krazzik, but for now we get some sleep...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Eli: The dwarves and humans allied with the dragons, and the elves allied with the Sky Lords.
Travis: Wait, who's on our side? Is it really just goblins, minotaurs and one f*cking robot?!
***
Travis: Who is Renaldar?
Dave: He already answered that!
Travis: ...I wasn't listening.
***
Farone: You people call him 'Boss' because you're ignorant.
Travis: What do you mean 'you people'?
Farone: Oh, not you...
***
Eli: He's in 4 pieces.
Travis: How do you even do that?
Farone: Head, torso...upper leg area...lower...feet?
Todd: It's probably head, torso, legs, penis.
Renee: Was it an ex-girlfriend that cut him up?
Todd: Then it's probably body and 3 pieces of penis.
***
Farone: Isn't your name Sh*t Big?
Travis: It's Shintauro.
Farone: Which is minotaur for...
Todd: Sh*t Big.
***
Eli: Anyone who doesn't fight for our side is enslaved.
Todd: If you ain't with us you're against us.
Farone: Actually it's "if you ain't with us you work for us...but not by choice".
***
Renee is examining the Warforged miniature.
Renee: Why is your stick all bent?
Todd: Is what she said...
Travis: If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.
Renee: No, I mean it's bent on this end, and then it's forked on that end. Like a dragon's penis, apparently.
Farone: As a Warforged I have all sorts of attachments.
***
Travis: I get +4 to my defenses, so what did he hit me with?
Eli: A 31.
Travis: Ah. Well, that still hits me.
Farone: Only by 7 though.
***
Travis: Hmm...I interrupt and...he takes 23 points of damage.
Eli: Ok.
Travis: Wait. Let me look at this card...
Todd: ...and see what this ability actually does...
***
Eli: He'll try to attack from the ground, which I believe is a -2.
Farone: -3 with a reach weapon...stop laughing! He's buying it.
***
Travis: Renee doesn't take that penalty because tentacles.
Farone: Nice.
Todd: Well played.
***
Farone: Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?
Travis: I just did.
Farone: Now that you're bloodied! I could have used a minor to heal you last round if I'd known!
Travis: Did you think I've been prone the entire fight because I was tired?!
***
Eli: What's the range on that attack?
Renee: Uh...really far.
***
Travis: Dave, you and I now have this row of enemies flanked.
Dave: We do?
Eli: Theoretically...
Travis: Which means we get a theoretical +2.
***
Travis is rolling 3d6.
Travis: 3...8...6.
Todd: Wait. You said 3, so I assumed you rolled a 3. Then you said 8, so I figured you were adding. Then you said 6...so you rolled a -2?
Travis: They're Renee's dice, so they're fishy.
Farone: Yeah, her dice are covered with negatives.
Todd: Suddenly a lot of things make more sense.
***
Dave: He was already prone, but all my attacks knock the enemy prone, so he's prone again.
Renee: Is there such a thing as Super Prone? Because there's apparently superior cover.
Farone: There's no Super Prone. That's dumb. There is, however, a Mega-Prone.
Voodoo Taz is full of all sorts of useful information. Like the fact that he doesn't have a Fey Goblin apprentice. The fact that he knew Krazzik was going to sell him out. The fact that he still has a job for us to do, only it's a different job than rescuing him from a bunch of gnolls.
See, Taz wants to resurrect Ten Claws, the old orc General who united the tribes of greenskins in the first place. Only some Archmage named Renaldar knows that's his plan and is doing everything in his power to keep Taz from completing this goal. See Taz had a map he made of all the places they buried parts of Ten Claw's body (which they cut into 4 pieces for some reason, like a quartered chicken) only somebody stole it while he was being held hostage. We're guessing that was Loopy the fake apprentice.
There's also a book, written by Cyfus Necros, or something like that, that details all the things that happened to Ten Claws after uniting the tribes and winning the war. Voodoo Taz thinks bringing him back will allow us to retake the lands that the humans and demi-humans stole from us.
He's got a plan, which somehow involves us invading a human school of magic, and meeting with some agent of his named Harper, but before we delve into all that there's another loose end the rest of us are more interested in tying up: Krazzik.
We take Taz and head over to Krazzik's to confront him, and this is when we have to deal with his two ogre-y bodyguards. This fight should go quickly, because we pretty much get to unload knowing that we're going to get some rest shortly after. We burn everything we have. Plant guy is knocking people down, Voodoo Taz is reigning down fire from the heavens and the rest of us are just going hog wild on these fools.
We finally burn them to the ground and Taz uses some kind of demon bottle to suck Krazzik's soul out of his body and put him on the ground. I have a bad feeling we haven't seen the last of Krazzik, but for now we get some sleep...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Eli: The dwarves and humans allied with the dragons, and the elves allied with the Sky Lords.
Travis: Wait, who's on our side? Is it really just goblins, minotaurs and one f*cking robot?!
***
Travis: Who is Renaldar?
Dave: He already answered that!
Travis: ...I wasn't listening.
***
Farone: You people call him 'Boss' because you're ignorant.
Travis: What do you mean 'you people'?
Farone: Oh, not you...
***
Eli: He's in 4 pieces.
Travis: How do you even do that?
Farone: Head, torso...upper leg area...lower...feet?
Todd: It's probably head, torso, legs, penis.
Renee: Was it an ex-girlfriend that cut him up?
Todd: Then it's probably body and 3 pieces of penis.
***
Farone: Isn't your name Sh*t Big?
Travis: It's Shintauro.
Farone: Which is minotaur for...
Todd: Sh*t Big.
***
Eli: Anyone who doesn't fight for our side is enslaved.
Todd: If you ain't with us you're against us.
Farone: Actually it's "if you ain't with us you work for us...but not by choice".
***
Renee is examining the Warforged miniature.
Renee: Why is your stick all bent?
Todd: Is what she said...
Travis: If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.
Renee: No, I mean it's bent on this end, and then it's forked on that end. Like a dragon's penis, apparently.
Farone: As a Warforged I have all sorts of attachments.
***
Travis: I get +4 to my defenses, so what did he hit me with?
Eli: A 31.
Travis: Ah. Well, that still hits me.
Farone: Only by 7 though.
***
Travis: Hmm...I interrupt and...he takes 23 points of damage.
Eli: Ok.
Travis: Wait. Let me look at this card...
Todd: ...and see what this ability actually does...
***
Eli: He'll try to attack from the ground, which I believe is a -2.
Farone: -3 with a reach weapon...stop laughing! He's buying it.
***
Travis: Renee doesn't take that penalty because tentacles.
Farone: Nice.
Todd: Well played.
***
Farone: Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?
Travis: I just did.
Farone: Now that you're bloodied! I could have used a minor to heal you last round if I'd known!
Travis: Did you think I've been prone the entire fight because I was tired?!
***
Eli: What's the range on that attack?
Renee: Uh...really far.
***
Travis: Dave, you and I now have this row of enemies flanked.
Dave: We do?
Eli: Theoretically...
Travis: Which means we get a theoretical +2.
***
Travis is rolling 3d6.
Travis: 3...8...6.
Todd: Wait. You said 3, so I assumed you rolled a 3. Then you said 8, so I figured you were adding. Then you said 6...so you rolled a -2?
Travis: They're Renee's dice, so they're fishy.
Farone: Yeah, her dice are covered with negatives.
Todd: Suddenly a lot of things make more sense.
***
Dave: He was already prone, but all my attacks knock the enemy prone, so he's prone again.
Renee: Is there such a thing as Super Prone? Because there's apparently superior cover.
Farone: There's no Super Prone. That's dumb. There is, however, a Mega-Prone.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Day 6 - Task Complete
So I yank the rope...and dammit, the scepter gets hung on something, the creepy voice asks who is invading his space and the door slams shut, and I guess I'm leaving that scepter behind. Fine. Whatever. I didn't want it anyway. Stupid scepter.
There's only one path left that we haven't taken, so we take it, and lo and behold, more gnolls. They're guarding a portcullis with a bunch of younglings behind it. Shintauro and Water Elf chick sneak towards them, but they're far enough away from us and Knought's armor is clinking and clanking, so we get spotted, and it's time to throw down again.
This fight doesn't last too long, but Shin gets busted up pretty bad and I end up taking out two of the gnolls myself before we're clear. I shouldn't have to do all this killing. I'm a captain-commander for Maglubiyet's sake. Shintauro should be killing these people. Anyway we decide to rest here, and when we're done we let the kids go. There's a ladder in the wall that leads up to a hole in the ceiling, which leads to the ground level. The kids will make a nice distraction.
We find another door, and beyond that one is a chasm room. I've never seen a chasm room before. There's a path through the chasm room that leads to two different doors, and off the side of the path on both sides is a 75 foot drop into darkness. Don't want to fall off of there. We decide that since I'm the lightest and we don't want to fight on that pathway that we'll get whoever's behind those doors to come out and chase me and we'll make them fight in the danger zone.
The magic compass points to the door off to the left, so of course I head to the other door and open it. Holy Maglubiyet's beard! It's One-Eye! He's blind, and has a cloth tied over his normal eyes, but he wears a circlet that has a gem in the front, so I see where he got his nickname. He's ready for me too, blasting me hard with a chaos bolt as soon as I open the door.
I'm starting to think this plan is terrible. What was I thinking?
I run, but he's slowed me, and two of his gnoll archers put arrows in me. Damn that hurts. That hurts a lot. I'm definitely going back to standing in the back and shooting magic at people. Let Knought and Shin get shot. This sucks.
The plan was for everyone to wait at the entrance to the chasm room until I bring these guys to them, but here comes the big minotaur, shouldering his way down the path to get involved in the fight. Way to follow orders, sarge. I quaff an invulnerability potion and then we just start to unload on these fools. We'd rather kill them on the path so we can loot them, but sure enough the first one falls off the side into the dark chasm, and then it just becomes a motif as we drop them one by one off the side. All but one of them.
We head to the last door to open it up, knowing Voodoo Taz is behind there, thanks to our handy dandy compass, but...the door is locked. Like seriously locked. Like the Water Elf girl and Shintauro are both shrugging their shoulders. They've never seen a lock so complex. And the door is made of stone so we're not just going to be able to bash our way in there.
Now I have to tie a rope to myself and have Knought and Shin lower me down there to search our dead enemies for keys. I get down to the bottom and find the dead gnolls, but One-Eye is gone. He left a bloody trail behind, and no key. He did leave his headwear though, so I grab that and get yanked to back up to the path.
We spend some time trying to figure out what to do, then I figure I'll give it a shot, throw on the headband and walk over to the door. Sure enough the lock clicks open, and there's Voodoo Taz!
Frazzle tries to tell him that we're here to take the job, but he's bound and gagged and probably can't hear us. We untie him, grab everything in the room, and now it's time to head back to town. First though, we find some papers, bills of sale for slaves to the humans, and a note from Warchief Krazzic warning One-Eye that we're coming. We knew that guy was dirty.
Water Elf girl can't wait to get to that bar with some cash in her pockets...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Todd: I hate the Dark Crystal.
Eli: Me too! It's the Gelkins! I want them to die.
Renee: That's why you hate me?
<Everone>: ???
Renee: You always want to kill the elf. It's because you hate Gelkins!
Travis: Yeah...that's why he hates you.
Farone: I just like the fact that she's been trying to figure that out for years.
***
Travis: Use your magic.
Todd: I don't have like a telekinesis spell or anything.
Travis: You have Mage Hand!
Todd: No I don't.
Travis: Yes! You do!
Todd: I really don't.
Travis: ALL wizards have Mage Hand!
Todd: I'm not a wizard. I'm a sorcerer.
Travis: Oh. Well, then no, you don't have it.
***
Farone: It's a good thing we're not stuck in a maze.
Travis: It's ok, I'd be able to get us out.
Dave: Why is that?
Travis: I'm a minotaur! We live in mazes!
Todd: Not by choice.
***
Dave: He hit all of us.
Tony: 27 Will? Yeah, that's gonna hit all of us.
Eli: It's not gonna be that bad.
Todd: Says the guy who's not about to take that damage...
***
Travis: Aha! Ruthless Demonstration! Would he like to surrender?
Eli: Don't you have to roll something?
Travis: Intimidate! I roll...12. No, 16 with my bonus.
Eli: <rolls> No. He's not surrendering.
Travis: Ok, fine. New plan. Would he like to surrender...please?
***
Todd: I'm gonna hit that guy that's minus 5 AC...18 vs. Willpower.
Dave: Uh...
Eli: I'm confused...
Todd: Oh, I don't have any attacks that target AC.
***
Farone: Use your healing surges! I am! Follow my lead, people!
***
Eli: Wait, you don't have to eat? But you have to breathe, right?
Farone: Nope. Warforged. I have no reason to eat, drink, sleep or breathe.
Eli: Huh. And yet you can still be poisoned...
***
Farone: We've uncovered almost the entire map.
Travis: That's because we never go where we're supposed to.
Dave: Yes, but we've been searching everywhere.
Travis: We have a magic f*cking compass that tells us exactly where to go!
Dave: And we've been actively using it to avoid completing this dungeon!
***
Renee: What's the difference between a goblin and a fey goblin?
Todd: Fabulousness.
***
Renee: I'm going back to signal the others that it's safe.
Travis: You don't actually know the signals.
Renee: I'm frantically signalling them from the bottom of the ramp.
Todd: I don't know what she's miming...purple? Dog house? Taco?
Farone: Great. Now I want tacos.
***
Tony: We need to triangulate our position more often.
***
Travis: I'll take my steaks...bloody.
Dave: There's something really disturbing about the Minotaur saying that.
***
Travis: I'm bloodied.
Eli: You're always bloodied.
Farone: We really should just tape that bloodied marker to your character.
***
Travis: I'm the rogue. I'm taking all the loot.
Renee: No! You know who gets loot? People who brought pencils!
Travis: I have a pencil.
Renee: You stole it from Tony!
Travis: I know! I'm a rogue!
***
Farone: How hurt are you guys? Are you bloodied?
Tony: No.
Todd: We're good.
Renee: I think they're fine.
Farone: Good. I'm out of heals, so they better be.
***
Renee: How sparkly is that headband?
Farone: Very. It's a circlet of perception.
***
Renee: He found the two things that were good for him and he kept both of them.
Travis: Hey! I showed it to Dave before I took it back and kept it.
***
Travis: Everyone remember, and it's apparently just me,
but if you're standing next to Tony, you get +1 to AC.
Hey, that rhymed!
Todd: Of course it did, you said it in iambic pentameter.
***
Farone: Why do we get +1 AC for standing next to Tony?
Tony: Because it rhymes, I think.
There's only one path left that we haven't taken, so we take it, and lo and behold, more gnolls. They're guarding a portcullis with a bunch of younglings behind it. Shintauro and Water Elf chick sneak towards them, but they're far enough away from us and Knought's armor is clinking and clanking, so we get spotted, and it's time to throw down again.
This fight doesn't last too long, but Shin gets busted up pretty bad and I end up taking out two of the gnolls myself before we're clear. I shouldn't have to do all this killing. I'm a captain-commander for Maglubiyet's sake. Shintauro should be killing these people. Anyway we decide to rest here, and when we're done we let the kids go. There's a ladder in the wall that leads up to a hole in the ceiling, which leads to the ground level. The kids will make a nice distraction.
We find another door, and beyond that one is a chasm room. I've never seen a chasm room before. There's a path through the chasm room that leads to two different doors, and off the side of the path on both sides is a 75 foot drop into darkness. Don't want to fall off of there. We decide that since I'm the lightest and we don't want to fight on that pathway that we'll get whoever's behind those doors to come out and chase me and we'll make them fight in the danger zone.
The magic compass points to the door off to the left, so of course I head to the other door and open it. Holy Maglubiyet's beard! It's One-Eye! He's blind, and has a cloth tied over his normal eyes, but he wears a circlet that has a gem in the front, so I see where he got his nickname. He's ready for me too, blasting me hard with a chaos bolt as soon as I open the door.
I'm starting to think this plan is terrible. What was I thinking?
I run, but he's slowed me, and two of his gnoll archers put arrows in me. Damn that hurts. That hurts a lot. I'm definitely going back to standing in the back and shooting magic at people. Let Knought and Shin get shot. This sucks.
The plan was for everyone to wait at the entrance to the chasm room until I bring these guys to them, but here comes the big minotaur, shouldering his way down the path to get involved in the fight. Way to follow orders, sarge. I quaff an invulnerability potion and then we just start to unload on these fools. We'd rather kill them on the path so we can loot them, but sure enough the first one falls off the side into the dark chasm, and then it just becomes a motif as we drop them one by one off the side. All but one of them.
We head to the last door to open it up, knowing Voodoo Taz is behind there, thanks to our handy dandy compass, but...the door is locked. Like seriously locked. Like the Water Elf girl and Shintauro are both shrugging their shoulders. They've never seen a lock so complex. And the door is made of stone so we're not just going to be able to bash our way in there.
Now I have to tie a rope to myself and have Knought and Shin lower me down there to search our dead enemies for keys. I get down to the bottom and find the dead gnolls, but One-Eye is gone. He left a bloody trail behind, and no key. He did leave his headwear though, so I grab that and get yanked to back up to the path.
We spend some time trying to figure out what to do, then I figure I'll give it a shot, throw on the headband and walk over to the door. Sure enough the lock clicks open, and there's Voodoo Taz!
Frazzle tries to tell him that we're here to take the job, but he's bound and gagged and probably can't hear us. We untie him, grab everything in the room, and now it's time to head back to town. First though, we find some papers, bills of sale for slaves to the humans, and a note from Warchief Krazzic warning One-Eye that we're coming. We knew that guy was dirty.
Water Elf girl can't wait to get to that bar with some cash in her pockets...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Todd: I hate the Dark Crystal.
Eli: Me too! It's the Gelkins! I want them to die.
Renee: That's why you hate me?
<Everone>: ???
Renee: You always want to kill the elf. It's because you hate Gelkins!
Travis: Yeah...that's why he hates you.
Farone: I just like the fact that she's been trying to figure that out for years.
***
Travis: Use your magic.
Todd: I don't have like a telekinesis spell or anything.
Travis: You have Mage Hand!
Todd: No I don't.
Travis: Yes! You do!
Todd: I really don't.
Travis: ALL wizards have Mage Hand!
Todd: I'm not a wizard. I'm a sorcerer.
Travis: Oh. Well, then no, you don't have it.
***
Farone: It's a good thing we're not stuck in a maze.
Travis: It's ok, I'd be able to get us out.
Dave: Why is that?
Travis: I'm a minotaur! We live in mazes!
Todd: Not by choice.
***
Dave: He hit all of us.
Tony: 27 Will? Yeah, that's gonna hit all of us.
Eli: It's not gonna be that bad.
Todd: Says the guy who's not about to take that damage...
***
Travis: Aha! Ruthless Demonstration! Would he like to surrender?
Eli: Don't you have to roll something?
Travis: Intimidate! I roll...12. No, 16 with my bonus.
Eli: <rolls> No. He's not surrendering.
Travis: Ok, fine. New plan. Would he like to surrender...please?
***
Todd: I'm gonna hit that guy that's minus 5 AC...18 vs. Willpower.
Dave: Uh...
Eli: I'm confused...
Todd: Oh, I don't have any attacks that target AC.
***
Farone: Use your healing surges! I am! Follow my lead, people!
***
Eli: Wait, you don't have to eat? But you have to breathe, right?
Farone: Nope. Warforged. I have no reason to eat, drink, sleep or breathe.
Eli: Huh. And yet you can still be poisoned...
***
Farone: We've uncovered almost the entire map.
Travis: That's because we never go where we're supposed to.
Dave: Yes, but we've been searching everywhere.
Travis: We have a magic f*cking compass that tells us exactly where to go!
Dave: And we've been actively using it to avoid completing this dungeon!
***
Renee: What's the difference between a goblin and a fey goblin?
Todd: Fabulousness.
***
Renee: I'm going back to signal the others that it's safe.
Travis: You don't actually know the signals.
Renee: I'm frantically signalling them from the bottom of the ramp.
Todd: I don't know what she's miming...purple? Dog house? Taco?
Farone: Great. Now I want tacos.
***
Tony: We need to triangulate our position more often.
***
Travis: I'll take my steaks...bloody.
Dave: There's something really disturbing about the Minotaur saying that.
***
Travis: I'm bloodied.
Eli: You're always bloodied.
Farone: We really should just tape that bloodied marker to your character.
***
Travis: I'm the rogue. I'm taking all the loot.
Renee: No! You know who gets loot? People who brought pencils!
Travis: I have a pencil.
Renee: You stole it from Tony!
Travis: I know! I'm a rogue!
***
Farone: How hurt are you guys? Are you bloodied?
Tony: No.
Todd: We're good.
Renee: I think they're fine.
Farone: Good. I'm out of heals, so they better be.
***
Renee: How sparkly is that headband?
Farone: Very. It's a circlet of perception.
***
Renee: He found the two things that were good for him and he kept both of them.
Travis: Hey! I showed it to Dave before I took it back and kept it.
***
Travis: Everyone remember, and it's apparently just me,
but if you're standing next to Tony, you get +1 to AC.
Hey, that rhymed!
Todd: Of course it did, you said it in iambic pentameter.
***
Farone: Why do we get +1 AC for standing next to Tony?
Tony: Because it rhymes, I think.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Day 5 - Statuesque
Yeah, we're sneaky. That's right. Sgt. Shintauro strangles one of the guards and I break out that invisibility potion I've been hanging on to and slide up to the fire to Chaos Bolt the hell out of the two sleeping gnolls. There's another one around the corner, but Knought and Frazzle are here to help. Tree guy assists Shintauro and between him and that panther they take down another gnoll. Things are getting crazy. We actually convinced one of the gnolls to surrender, but since none of us speak wet dog the Tree guy just ends up ripping his throat out.
There's nothing interesting back here, so we head back to the front, and lo and behold the Gnolls have put up a sign in front of a closed door. I didn't think they could read, let alone write. Both Shin and Frazzle have magic glasses and apparently the gnolls put up a sign that says "Don't go in here, you'll die" or something along those lines. So, of course we open that door.
Shintauro spots the tripwire pretty quickly, but cuts it too close and we get to see the poison darts fly across the room that would have shredded us if we'd gone in too quickly. All right, seems safe now, so we head over to the giant stone door and push our way into a giant room with three huge, ugly statues.
There's a passage off to one side and Shintauro downs a potion and assures me there's something worth checking out in that vestibule. I don't know what he's drinking but it's some good stuff. There's gold in there, along with some other valuables and a silver statue of the Death God Nerull with jade eyes...I hold out as long as I can before I grab it and stuff it in my cloak.
Outside I head over to the tapestry in the back of the room, and hey, look, another little chamber. This one has a scepter in it, beautiful hand carved wood, gold inlay, and a silver skull of Nerull (the death god) with green gems for eyes. Nerull's got style. For a Death God.
So of course I take that, and then of course the Statues come to life and try to beat the hell out of us. I spend the whole fight dazed, but throwing every spell I can remember from one corner. Shintauro gets beat all to hell, Knought gets beat all to hell, Tree guy gets beat all to hell...hey, where's Water Elf Fish Girl?! Turns out she didn't follow us, just hung back. Probably magically communicating with her parents or something.
Frazzle manages to keep us all alive, Tree guy summons a tiny dragon (something I didn't know he could do) and when the statues finally go down they explode into tiny shards, ripping through us and doing even MORE damage. Gods, Nerull doesn't play. He really is a Death God.
So, now we try to leave again and some strange wind comes blowing through the chamber, and holy gnoll crap! The statues are reforming!
Ok, looks like I have to leave this scepter behind. Wait...I'm gonna tie a string to it and see if we can yank it out from other side of the door...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Dave: The Drake causes him a -5 to his attack rolls.
Todd: We need more Drake!
Farone: We should all have one of those!
Todd: First thing when we get back to town, we're all buying a Drake.
**
Dave: So...Travis has his back to me?
Travis: Wait, is it time for you to stab me?
**
Farone: I cast a spell called 'Altered Luck'. Basically it sucks all the luck out of that gnoll and infuses it into Tony.
Travis: Oh, good. Tony just got lucky with a gnoll.
**
Travis: Dave I'm tired of your lies!
Farone: Aw, why? I look forward to them.
**
Dave: I switched some of my powers because I never used them. They were difficult to...
Travis: Pronounce?
**
Tony: What should I do? Hit that guy?
Travis: Move over there and kill that guy.
Dave: I've been fighting that guy for 5 rounds! He's got like 1 hit point left!
Travis: Tony! Go over there and steal Dave's kill!
**
(After killing a gnoll)
Travis: I didn't even know that guy! Think what I'll do to all of you!
Farone: Not much. We've seen you fight.
Travis: I...I've killed a lot of people...
Farone: Meh.
**
Travis: I push this door open. Wait. Is it heavy?
Todd: You have the robot.
Farone: But I'm weak. Wait, first, I'm not a robot. Second, I'm very intelligent, but not very strong.
Travis: So you can't help with the door?
Farone: I can't help you push it open, but I can tell you what you're doing wrong...your leverage is way off.
**
Tony: Let's see what I have left...I have a Blast 3 Death Angel.
Farone: That sounds awesome!
Travis: Plus, it comes with a free teleport.
**
Eli: Take 2 points of damage.
Travis: I take 1 point of damage.
Farone: Nope. My aura ended.
Travis: I take 2 points of damage.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Day 4 - Torture
Feeling much better now, and for some reason I feel like I could drink Acid. I'm not sure what that's about. Everyone is rested and eager to start searching again, so we go through the obvious door in this room and we're in...
A cave. Great.
This looks connected to the first room we fought in as well as the big crater we found outside. We abandon it immediately to go back to the room with the broken lockpick in the door that Shintauro still insists he knows nothing about. One crowbar and three people manage to break the door down, and we find...naked chicks.
Naked goblin chicks, to be precise. They've been beaten and stripped naked and Gods know what else, so I tell them their clothes are outside and they should get dressed and escape. I'm not sure they even heard me, but we don't have time to shepherd them out of here, so we head down to the big hall and search everything else.
Searching everything else starts by leading us down a hallway to a torture chamber. There are seven gnolls torturing some poor, tiny goblin who would be singing like a canary if he had anything of value to say. Or if, you know, the gnolls were even bothering to listen.
Linnea (she insists I start using her name after she read part of the journal, so this is how we'll be referring to Water Elf Fish Girl for a while, until I decide I don't care) checks the door to see if it's locked. It's not. She immediately removes herself from danger and hits the back of the line. So, we're back to Water Elf Fish Girl. Fantastic. That didn't take long.
There's much debate about who should go in, Knought isn't sure he wants to since he's concerned we may leave him behind, and after a brief scuffle the Sergeant steps up and enters the room, immediately garroting one of the moron gnolls. The rest haven't noticed us yet, so Knought joins the fray, taking a wild swing at another one and missing. This is when I have to go in and throw my magic around.
Pretty soon everyone's joined the battle, and these guys go down without too much trouble, though Knought and Sgt. Shintauro take the brunt of the damage, as usual. I need to teach them to be smaller.
Eventually all the gnolls go down, though, and we're left with Grupay, the goblin prisoner. He tells me they didn't even ask him questions, they just like torture. He says Taz was with them when they got here, but they took him somewhere else when they brought him here.
After a brief farewell during which he casually mentions that the gnoll slaver's leader is a guy named One-Eye, who has a gem stuck into his forehead. Apparently this is how he got the nickname "One-Eye". Though Frazzle points out that "Three-Eye" would be more accurate. Gnolls are not good at counting. Anyway the poor bastard's on his way, and I tell him to stop and get the girls, but the chances of that happening are probably nil.
We move on. We find a guard room with a bunch of keys in it, and then right across the hall we get to use those keys to free a bunch of prisoners who stopped cowering as soon as they realized we weren't gnolls. They tell us the gnolls are planning on selling everyone to the Humies, and that Taz was taken away from all the others.
God gnolls are annoying.
Not much left to do but head down into the cave. We start by ignoring all signs pointing to Voodoo Taz and go the other way (this has become our usual way of doing things, so far).
Here we find some sleeping gnolls, with a couple on guard, and we're planning to take them out. Actually I should stop writing and help...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Travis: We should split up. But our side is taking the healer. You can have the paladin.
Eli: (Singing) He will lay his hands on yooouuu.....
Travis: For the record, I should point out that he totally doesn't have that ability.
Farone: For the record, I should point out that he will still lay his hands on you...
***
Renee: Is that door 2 wide?
Todd: Too wide for what?
Renee: No, two. Like two spaces. Two wide.
Todd: Oh.
Eli: She just likes a tight fit.
Todd: I thought she just had some very specific form of agoraphobia.
***
Todd: Should I target Tony in this attack?
Farone: Er...I don't know. How hurt are you, Tony?
Tony: I'm fine. Go ahead. I have 5...something. Extra hit points. Temporary hit points!
Todd: Hm...who thinks I should go ahead and include Tony?
Eli: I'll give you an action point if you do it.
Tony: Do it. I have my 5 extra, whatever.
Farone: Well, he said to do it.
Todd: Fine...
...
(Later)
...
Travis: Who should I throw this dagger at?
Todd: Tony. He has 5 temporary hit points he's trying to get rid of.
Eli: I'll give you an action point if you do it.
***
Todd: Wait...that's not the minotaur.
Farone: Hey! That's me! And NO!
***
Farone: This combat is going well so far.
Tony: We're still in the surprise round.
Todd: Still...
Farone: I was counting my blessings. Plus, from now on, we should only have surprise rounds.
***
Dave: You need to be where I'm at. But you go before me.
Renee: (sneering) I guess I could defer...
Farone: Not with that attitude.
Renee: What? I learned a new skill!
Dave: What? Contempt?
***
Tony: ...we should triangulate more often.
***
Travis: I step in and garrote that dude right in front of me.
Eli: Him?
Travis: Er...no...the other guy right in front of me.
A cave. Great.
This looks connected to the first room we fought in as well as the big crater we found outside. We abandon it immediately to go back to the room with the broken lockpick in the door that Shintauro still insists he knows nothing about. One crowbar and three people manage to break the door down, and we find...naked chicks.
Naked goblin chicks, to be precise. They've been beaten and stripped naked and Gods know what else, so I tell them their clothes are outside and they should get dressed and escape. I'm not sure they even heard me, but we don't have time to shepherd them out of here, so we head down to the big hall and search everything else.
Searching everything else starts by leading us down a hallway to a torture chamber. There are seven gnolls torturing some poor, tiny goblin who would be singing like a canary if he had anything of value to say. Or if, you know, the gnolls were even bothering to listen.
Linnea (she insists I start using her name after she read part of the journal, so this is how we'll be referring to Water Elf Fish Girl for a while, until I decide I don't care) checks the door to see if it's locked. It's not. She immediately removes herself from danger and hits the back of the line. So, we're back to Water Elf Fish Girl. Fantastic. That didn't take long.
There's much debate about who should go in, Knought isn't sure he wants to since he's concerned we may leave him behind, and after a brief scuffle the Sergeant steps up and enters the room, immediately garroting one of the moron gnolls. The rest haven't noticed us yet, so Knought joins the fray, taking a wild swing at another one and missing. This is when I have to go in and throw my magic around.
Pretty soon everyone's joined the battle, and these guys go down without too much trouble, though Knought and Sgt. Shintauro take the brunt of the damage, as usual. I need to teach them to be smaller.
Eventually all the gnolls go down, though, and we're left with Grupay, the goblin prisoner. He tells me they didn't even ask him questions, they just like torture. He says Taz was with them when they got here, but they took him somewhere else when they brought him here.
After a brief farewell during which he casually mentions that the gnoll slaver's leader is a guy named One-Eye, who has a gem stuck into his forehead. Apparently this is how he got the nickname "One-Eye". Though Frazzle points out that "Three-Eye" would be more accurate. Gnolls are not good at counting. Anyway the poor bastard's on his way, and I tell him to stop and get the girls, but the chances of that happening are probably nil.
We move on. We find a guard room with a bunch of keys in it, and then right across the hall we get to use those keys to free a bunch of prisoners who stopped cowering as soon as they realized we weren't gnolls. They tell us the gnolls are planning on selling everyone to the Humies, and that Taz was taken away from all the others.
God gnolls are annoying.
Not much left to do but head down into the cave. We start by ignoring all signs pointing to Voodoo Taz and go the other way (this has become our usual way of doing things, so far).
Here we find some sleeping gnolls, with a couple on guard, and we're planning to take them out. Actually I should stop writing and help...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Travis: We should split up. But our side is taking the healer. You can have the paladin.
Eli: (Singing) He will lay his hands on yooouuu.....
Travis: For the record, I should point out that he totally doesn't have that ability.
Farone: For the record, I should point out that he will still lay his hands on you...
***
Renee: Is that door 2 wide?
Todd: Too wide for what?
Renee: No, two. Like two spaces. Two wide.
Todd: Oh.
Eli: She just likes a tight fit.
Todd: I thought she just had some very specific form of agoraphobia.
***
Todd: Should I target Tony in this attack?
Farone: Er...I don't know. How hurt are you, Tony?
Tony: I'm fine. Go ahead. I have 5...something. Extra hit points. Temporary hit points!
Todd: Hm...who thinks I should go ahead and include Tony?
Eli: I'll give you an action point if you do it.
Tony: Do it. I have my 5 extra, whatever.
Farone: Well, he said to do it.
Todd: Fine...
...
(Later)
...
Travis: Who should I throw this dagger at?
Todd: Tony. He has 5 temporary hit points he's trying to get rid of.
Eli: I'll give you an action point if you do it.
***
Todd: Wait...that's not the minotaur.
Farone: Hey! That's me! And NO!
***
Farone: This combat is going well so far.
Tony: We're still in the surprise round.
Todd: Still...
Farone: I was counting my blessings. Plus, from now on, we should only have surprise rounds.
***
Dave: You need to be where I'm at. But you go before me.
Renee: (sneering) I guess I could defer...
Farone: Not with that attitude.
Renee: What? I learned a new skill!
Dave: What? Contempt?
***
Tony: ...we should triangulate more often.
***
Travis: I step in and garrote that dude right in front of me.
Eli: Him?
Travis: Er...no...the other guy right in front of me.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Day 3 - Laundry
The hallway is cleared and we're looking for where to go next. There's some alcoves on the sides of the hall, but Frazzle looks them over and decides they're just where the gnolls keep trash. That's remarkably organized for gnolls.
Meanwhile Shintauro finds a door, opens it and heads up a set of stairs. Opening doors willy nilly is probably a bad idea, but he makes a fair point: anything that was behind that door surely heard the battle royale that occurred just seconds ago, so if it didn't come out it's probably something we can kill easily.
So, yeah, there was nothing behind the door. Well, not nothing. Just some stairs. I asked Frazzle where he thought those stairs went and he told me he didn't think they went anywhere, they probably just sat there. Fair point.
So, up the stairs we go, and that's where we find...the laundry. Seriously, a room filled with nothing but dirty clothes. Dirty women's clothes...something odd about that, I think. There's a door in the laundry room and a door at the end of another hallway.
Shintauro assures us he can pick the lock of the door in the laundry room, but no, in fact what he does is break a lockpick off in the lock. Good job, sergeant. We head for the other door. Opening it quietly we find a group of gnolls having some kind of meeting.
Knought rushes them, and after a moment's debate about whether or not we should just shut the door and bail we decide to run in and help him out.
Another. Huge. Battle. The Paladin gets netted, I almost get killed, and Shintauro comes even closer to death than I do. Thank the Gods Tree guy and his panther are vicious fighters and water elf fish girl is helpful. Once we've taken them all down we decide to close that door and get some rest.
I know we need it...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Eli: You're going to take some damage
Todd: Well, I'm going to ignore 12 of it so try to do...11.
***
Todd: Everything adjacent to Tony is now marked.
Farone: Including you?
Todd: Um...yep. I have to attack Tony on my next turn.
***
Dave: 14 vs. Reflex?
Eli: Miss.
Dave: Can I use an action point to reroll that?
Eli: Sure.
Dave: Ok...20. Crit.
Eli: Wow. That may be the first time that's ever worked.
Farone: Usually we just burn an action point and miss again.
***
Renee: How does Dave communicate with the panther?
Eli: Through interpretive dance. Like a bee.
***
Renee: Can I roll to get his lockpicks out of the lock?
Travis: You need a "Lock Repair" skill for that.
***
Tony: I run in the room, surrounded by gnolls and do 40 points of damage to that guy!
Farone: Now's our chance to slam the door shut and run.
***
Farone: One of these guys has an unused net, right?
Eli: You could have been picking up all the nets they used this whole time!
Farone: I...don't know how to use a net.
Meanwhile Shintauro finds a door, opens it and heads up a set of stairs. Opening doors willy nilly is probably a bad idea, but he makes a fair point: anything that was behind that door surely heard the battle royale that occurred just seconds ago, so if it didn't come out it's probably something we can kill easily.
So, yeah, there was nothing behind the door. Well, not nothing. Just some stairs. I asked Frazzle where he thought those stairs went and he told me he didn't think they went anywhere, they probably just sat there. Fair point.
So, up the stairs we go, and that's where we find...the laundry. Seriously, a room filled with nothing but dirty clothes. Dirty women's clothes...something odd about that, I think. There's a door in the laundry room and a door at the end of another hallway.
Shintauro assures us he can pick the lock of the door in the laundry room, but no, in fact what he does is break a lockpick off in the lock. Good job, sergeant. We head for the other door. Opening it quietly we find a group of gnolls having some kind of meeting.
Knought rushes them, and after a moment's debate about whether or not we should just shut the door and bail we decide to run in and help him out.
Another. Huge. Battle. The Paladin gets netted, I almost get killed, and Shintauro comes even closer to death than I do. Thank the Gods Tree guy and his panther are vicious fighters and water elf fish girl is helpful. Once we've taken them all down we decide to close that door and get some rest.
I know we need it...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Eli: You're going to take some damage
Todd: Well, I'm going to ignore 12 of it so try to do...11.
***
Todd: Everything adjacent to Tony is now marked.
Farone: Including you?
Todd: Um...yep. I have to attack Tony on my next turn.
***
Dave: 14 vs. Reflex?
Eli: Miss.
Dave: Can I use an action point to reroll that?
Eli: Sure.
Dave: Ok...20. Crit.
Eli: Wow. That may be the first time that's ever worked.
Farone: Usually we just burn an action point and miss again.
***
Renee: How does Dave communicate with the panther?
Eli: Through interpretive dance. Like a bee.
***
Renee: Can I roll to get his lockpicks out of the lock?
Travis: You need a "Lock Repair" skill for that.
***
Tony: I run in the room, surrounded by gnolls and do 40 points of damage to that guy!
Farone: Now's our chance to slam the door shut and run.
***
Farone: One of these guys has an unused net, right?
Eli: You could have been picking up all the nets they used this whole time!
Farone: I...don't know how to use a net.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Day 2 - Delicious Spiders and Angry Gnolls
So after we finished off the gnolls I was feeling energized, and felt like it was time to do some more exploring. There's three exits from here, counting the big hall that looks like it surely leads to that crater we looked at earlier. There's also a small tunnel that looks muddy and wet, and a bigger tunnel that looks like it leads into the Temple that's sinking into the swamp.
We go with the muddy tunnel, which the Water Elf Fish Girl was all for at first...
Sgt. Shintauro took the lead with the Water Elf Fish Girl following him, but she can't read the military signals, so I have to come around the corner and interpret.
He messages back "Skittering"..."webs"..."around the corner"...
Probably spiders. This is all fine and good for me, but Water Elf Fish Girl apparently has a thing about spiders because she's now freaking out and wants to go back. I tell her spiders are delicious and stop being silly.
Further down the tunnel we find the spider's lair. Its covered in webs, cocoons, bones of humanoid creatures. And egg sacs. Wriggling, delicious egg sacs full of spiders. Sarge bull rushes the big spider we see hanging on the wall, and I go over to deal with the babies. It seems to end pretty quickly, but then more babies start falling from the ceiling, along with two more giant spiders.
Overall they weren't too much trouble, but the Water Elf Fish Girl didn't think those spiders were ever going to stop dropping from above. There wasn't much else in that tunnel, aside from a little treasure, so we backtracked and headed for the Temple.
Much better stonework here, things look like they were carved on purpose, but the floor was shifting due to the entire place sinking into the swamp. The hallway opened up and got brighter, since there were torches on all the walls.
For some reason the Water Elf Fish Girl decided to look for secret doors, and wandered into the middle of the hallway where she stepped on a string that no one noticed and apparently set off a warning bell.
That's when the Gnolls showed up. Eight, maybe ten of them, and the first set started tossing javelins at us. I dropped a vial of darkness to give us some cover, and the crew spread out and got ready to fight.
*Things to remember for later: Look up tactics and how to use them. We have none. Tactics that is. We tend to fight as a disorganized mob, with little care given to what's going on around us. I had to burn through some of my more powerful magic, and still took a pretty good beating.
The gnolls were much better organized, though fighting in a tight group like that did leave them vulnerable to some of our more potent area attacks. Fish Girl did well, hitting a lot more than I think she did in the first fight. The Half Ogre held his own, as did the Plant Guy and his Panther, though Plant Guy did get netted for a while. So did Frazzle, for that matter, but again, he held his own in the healing department. Sgt. Shintauro did what he usually does, which us bull rush things and hit them. No complaints on that front.
But now we're in the middle of the Temple Hallway, we've made Gods know how much noise, and anything could be coming towards us. And after that fight we need some serious rest, but I'm not sure where or how we're going to get it...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Travis: We both have the same magic bag.
Farone: Well get your own bag!
***
Renee: Can I perception stuff?
***
Renee: I'm gonna sneak out there and look for secret doors.
Eli: She steps on a rope and a bell starts ringing...
Travis: You suck! This is why we let the cows sneak!
***
Eli: Javelin for 21 points of damage!
Group: Ooh! Aah!
Renee: Do not Ooh and Aah for him!
***
Tony: Wow, that's 27 damage you just took!
Renee: Did you just do math for him? Don't do that!
***
Renee: One of the gnolls critted on it's initiative?
Eli: Four of them, actually.
Renee: What?! You can't roll once for four of them!
Eli: I'm the DM! I can do whatever I want! You now have syphilis and can't fire your bow!
Todd: Wow. That's a very specific form of syphilis.
***
Todd: Is that guy a bad guy?
Farone: No. That's Travis. So, kind of.
***
Todd: I'm gonna drop this vial of darkness, so now we're obscured and they can't see us.
Renee: Thanks! If the healer's not going to help it's good to know someone is.
Farone: You're making me less and less inclined to help you.
***
Travis: If she got together with the Half-Ogre and the kid was a male that had Tony's prowess he'd be a quarter pounder!
Group: <Groan!>
Travis: I just did two points of damage to the entire party.
***
Travis: So you'd be half elf, half kracken, half ogre, and half something else.
Todd: So, quarter elf, quarter kracken, quarter ogre...
Dave: You're much better at math than he is.
***
Renee: Can you heal poison?
Travis: I don't know. How much damage has the poison taken?
Farone: I can't heal poison, but I can give it temporary hit points.
***
Todd: We're not scared of spiders! I'm a goblin. We ride giant spiders around like horses! Are you scared of horses?
Renee: Yes!
Travis: Do horses have fangs and poisonous bites?
Todd: Yes. Well, the ones I've seen have...I've never seen a horse. Except in goblin paintings. So, yes.
***
Eli: The spider leaps onto this column and spits webs out it's butt covering Tony and Travis!
Renee: See? I told you butts were important.
***
Travis: Do you have two of those?
Renee: I have three...
Farone: Let's say four.
Todd: So...seven?
***
Eli: Who's keeping up with all the treasure?
Travis: Me! I'm the rogue. I keep the treasure.
Renee: I'm the rogue!
Todd: You're a ranger.
Renee: Rogue!
Travis: Ranger!
Renee: On my character sheet it says I'm a rogue.
Farone: She has selective classing...
***
Travis: How are you not immune to poison?
Farone: Shut up! I am immune to poison. As far as Eli knows.
***
Travis: I enjoy being hit on.
***
Renee: Did my charisma go away when you made me a rogue?
Farone: It went away when you opened your mouth.
We go with the muddy tunnel, which the Water Elf Fish Girl was all for at first...
Sgt. Shintauro took the lead with the Water Elf Fish Girl following him, but she can't read the military signals, so I have to come around the corner and interpret.
He messages back "Skittering"..."webs"..."around the corner"...
Probably spiders. This is all fine and good for me, but Water Elf Fish Girl apparently has a thing about spiders because she's now freaking out and wants to go back. I tell her spiders are delicious and stop being silly.
Further down the tunnel we find the spider's lair. Its covered in webs, cocoons, bones of humanoid creatures. And egg sacs. Wriggling, delicious egg sacs full of spiders. Sarge bull rushes the big spider we see hanging on the wall, and I go over to deal with the babies. It seems to end pretty quickly, but then more babies start falling from the ceiling, along with two more giant spiders.
Overall they weren't too much trouble, but the Water Elf Fish Girl didn't think those spiders were ever going to stop dropping from above. There wasn't much else in that tunnel, aside from a little treasure, so we backtracked and headed for the Temple.
Much better stonework here, things look like they were carved on purpose, but the floor was shifting due to the entire place sinking into the swamp. The hallway opened up and got brighter, since there were torches on all the walls.
For some reason the Water Elf Fish Girl decided to look for secret doors, and wandered into the middle of the hallway where she stepped on a string that no one noticed and apparently set off a warning bell.
That's when the Gnolls showed up. Eight, maybe ten of them, and the first set started tossing javelins at us. I dropped a vial of darkness to give us some cover, and the crew spread out and got ready to fight.
*Things to remember for later: Look up tactics and how to use them. We have none. Tactics that is. We tend to fight as a disorganized mob, with little care given to what's going on around us. I had to burn through some of my more powerful magic, and still took a pretty good beating.
The gnolls were much better organized, though fighting in a tight group like that did leave them vulnerable to some of our more potent area attacks. Fish Girl did well, hitting a lot more than I think she did in the first fight. The Half Ogre held his own, as did the Plant Guy and his Panther, though Plant Guy did get netted for a while. So did Frazzle, for that matter, but again, he held his own in the healing department. Sgt. Shintauro did what he usually does, which us bull rush things and hit them. No complaints on that front.
But now we're in the middle of the Temple Hallway, we've made Gods know how much noise, and anything could be coming towards us. And after that fight we need some serious rest, but I'm not sure where or how we're going to get it...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Travis: We both have the same magic bag.
Farone: Well get your own bag!
***
Renee: Can I perception stuff?
***
Renee: I'm gonna sneak out there and look for secret doors.
Eli: She steps on a rope and a bell starts ringing...
Travis: You suck! This is why we let the cows sneak!
***
Eli: Javelin for 21 points of damage!
Group: Ooh! Aah!
Renee: Do not Ooh and Aah for him!
***
Tony: Wow, that's 27 damage you just took!
Renee: Did you just do math for him? Don't do that!
***
Renee: One of the gnolls critted on it's initiative?
Eli: Four of them, actually.
Renee: What?! You can't roll once for four of them!
Eli: I'm the DM! I can do whatever I want! You now have syphilis and can't fire your bow!
Todd: Wow. That's a very specific form of syphilis.
***
Todd: Is that guy a bad guy?
Farone: No. That's Travis. So, kind of.
***
Todd: I'm gonna drop this vial of darkness, so now we're obscured and they can't see us.
Renee: Thanks! If the healer's not going to help it's good to know someone is.
Farone: You're making me less and less inclined to help you.
***
Travis: If she got together with the Half-Ogre and the kid was a male that had Tony's prowess he'd be a quarter pounder!
Group: <Groan!>
Travis: I just did two points of damage to the entire party.
***
Travis: So you'd be half elf, half kracken, half ogre, and half something else.
Todd: So, quarter elf, quarter kracken, quarter ogre...
Dave: You're much better at math than he is.
***
Renee: Can you heal poison?
Travis: I don't know. How much damage has the poison taken?
Farone: I can't heal poison, but I can give it temporary hit points.
***
Todd: We're not scared of spiders! I'm a goblin. We ride giant spiders around like horses! Are you scared of horses?
Renee: Yes!
Travis: Do horses have fangs and poisonous bites?
Todd: Yes. Well, the ones I've seen have...I've never seen a horse. Except in goblin paintings. So, yes.
***
Eli: The spider leaps onto this column and spits webs out it's butt covering Tony and Travis!
Renee: See? I told you butts were important.
***
Travis: Do you have two of those?
Renee: I have three...
Farone: Let's say four.
Todd: So...seven?
***
Eli: Who's keeping up with all the treasure?
Travis: Me! I'm the rogue. I keep the treasure.
Renee: I'm the rogue!
Todd: You're a ranger.
Renee: Rogue!
Travis: Ranger!
Renee: On my character sheet it says I'm a rogue.
Farone: She has selective classing...
***
Travis: How are you not immune to poison?
Farone: Shut up! I am immune to poison. As far as Eli knows.
***
Travis: I enjoy being hit on.
***
Renee: Did my charisma go away when you made me a rogue?
Farone: It went away when you opened your mouth.
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