We all seem to have gotten the same letter. Reading it I'm trying to figure out who this guy Tarzan Yard-Lick is, then I realize it's actually Tazrian, or Voodoo Taz as he's better known, the mad genius goblin wizard. That's good, I like that guy. He's crazy. He wants to pay us to almost get killed or something, and this sounds reasonable to me.
Let me describe my companions so I can remember who they all are.
First of all, of course, is my ever present Minotaur Commando, Sgt. Shintauro, the stealthy bull. He keeps his hooves wrapped in cloth so he can walk quiet. Pretty good at it too. Nobody I'd trust more to have my back than Sarge.
Then there's the Wilden, guy's like a walking plant. He's pretty good at nature, and tracking things, and he's a helluva fighter, charging things and smacking them down.
Then there's the Water Elf Fish Girl, calls herself Linnea and has a bow that shoots arrows made out of water. That'll come in handy later when we need to put out fires. We always end up setting something on fire.
There's the Half-Ogre Paladin, calls himself Knought. Seems nice. He's tall as a small building. Quiet like a building, too. I'm not sure he's not a building...
Then there's Frazzle. Frazzle's a warforged, some kind of automaton. I have a feeling he used to be a kobold and had his brain put into the war-forged body, but he swears this isn't true. It's also possible a dwarf rogue had something to do with putting him together, but we haven't quite gotten his real story yet.
ANYWAY, the six of us make our way into Bogskunk. City built on a swamp. Kind of thing only monsters think is a good idea. The first thing you see in Bogskunk is the Airship, hovering over the town entrance. Frazzle wants to check this out so me and him climb the stairs to talk to the guy standing up there. I want him to give us a ride to the tower, but the guy is rude (and ugly) and threatens to call the city guard. Frazzle says his airship isn't that nice anyway, so we take off before any trouble starts. I think this might be the only time that's gonna happen.
When we get back downstairs we find that Water Elf Fish Girl has wandered off on her own. I find this odd as having talked to her all her problems in life seem to have stemmed from wandering off from the group. But there she goes like a magpie that's spotted a shiny in the tall grass.
She's trying to convince this big, fat orc behind the bar to let her have a Gutbuster Beer, but she doesn't have the 3 copper he wants for it. It's odd, we seem to be a copperless bunch all over. We need some cash. Maybe Voodoo Taz will hook us up.
Hanging out near the bar though is a goblin guard, Private Plinket, who's guarding some gnolls in cages. Plinket tells us that the gnolls raided the town and kidnapped Voodoo Taz. Well, this is no good. No point going to the tower now, since he's obviously not gonna be there, but Frazzle's Dwarf Rogue thinking kicks in for a minute and we consider just robbing the tower. In the end we deviate from that path. Instead we take the goblin's advice and go to see Warchief Krazzic, who pretty much runs this town.
We find Krazzic at his barracks, hanging out on the front porch with two giant Ogres. Krazzic seems old, senile maybe, and he doesn't seem too upset that Taz has vanished. We tell him we'll take the job to bring Taz back and he acts like he doesn't want anybody to go get him. He tells us, "The only person that'll pay you to rescue Taz is Taz!" This guy seems suspicious. Or maybe he's just losing it.
We head to the Tower at any rate to see if maybe we can find some clues to what happened. Maybe the gnolls left a note behind telling us where they took the goblin wizard. Instead we find a mess. Taz doesn't keep his place too orderly. There's alchemy equipment and junk scattered all over the place. Taz needs a maid.
Turns out Taz DOES have an apprentice. A little fey goblin named Lupik, who asks us to help get his master back. He tells us Krazzic is old and crazy and that's why he doesn't care, but the group is standing by our "seems suspicious" angle. Lupik gives us a bowl with a feather in it that points to Taz's location. We take the bowl and head out to look for our mysterious would-be benefactor.
Outside one of Krazzic's bodyguards is watching us from a nearby building, though he's trying desperately to look like he's NOT watching us from a nearby building. I try to use a little deception (always a good idea in wartime) and pretend we're not going North to look for Taz, but Frazzle sort of fails me spectacularly in that regard, and now I'm pretty sure the ogre's going to tell Krazzic we're on Taz's trail.
Sure enough, just outside of town we see a lizard fly by with a note, no doubt Krazzic warning his gnoll buddies that we're coming. The Water Elf Fish Girl takes a couple of shots at it, and now I'm not sure she's ever fired that bow before.
Plant guy sends his pet Panther after the lizard and for the life of me I don't know how I didn't realize until that moment that he had a panther. Thing's huge. It's taller than I am. How did I miss that?
At any rate the panther can't fly (not without the help of a catapult...heh heh, CATapult...) and it comes back without having had a lizardy snack. We follow the gnolls tracks, and the bowl with a feather seems to agree with where we're headed, and after a bit of walking we hit some ruins.
This used to be a monster town, kind of like Bogskunk, but it's all sinking into the swamp. There's a big temple roof that's hanging down as the Temple sinks, and a couple of holes in the ground that are probably entrances to the gnolls underground lair. Someone told us the gnolls bring people here before they sell them to the humans.
There's also a giant crater, and me, Sarge, and Plant Guy go check it out. There's some smoke billowing up over there and the ground's starting to crumble under our feet. There's something moving down in the crater so we head back to the tunnel entrances and sneak into one.
Not twenty feet in Sarge signals me from up ahead: there's some gnolls hanging out, waiting to kill anyone that comes inside. Finally, something to fight.
Sarge climbs up onto the ridge where the gnolls are and a few of us sneak down to the other side where there seems to be a ladder. But somebody makes some noise or something and the gnoll watching the hallway takes a shot at us.
Now it's on, and everybody goes nuts. This crew can fight, that much is for sure. Frazzle does some nifty healing, Sarge does some nifty stabbing, Fish Girl actually hits something with her bow, Plant Guy snatches some gnollls and throws them to the ground, the panther bites a gnolls face off, and I show them how sorcerous magic can tear through gnoll flesh with ease. Oh, and the Half-Ogre/Half-Building even drops the hammer on a couple of them. Literally a hammer, and it's brutal.
So, we've taken these guys out, and even kept them from ringing their gong for help, so we're going to rest here until we figure out where to move to next...
NIFTY QUOTES FROM THIS SESSION
Renee: I was gonna heal that guy!
Eli: The bad guy?
Todd: See, this is why we're always trying to kill you.
**
Travis: Shoot that guy.
Renee: Should I hit this guy? Or this guy over here?
Travis: Either one.
Eli: Just do something.
Renee: Let's take a vote-
Travis: JUST SHOOT HIM!
Eli: KILL SOMEBODY!
**
Todd: So you're a robot.
Farone: Warforged.
Dave: You're more like a golem.
Farone: I'm not a golem. I'm a warforged.
Eli: (Trying to find a mini for him) What weapons are you carrying?
Farone: Staff and an orb.
Dave: Is that orb like a power source?
Farone: I'm not a robot!
Todd: You're kind of like a robot.
Dave: But more like a golem.
Eli: Here, this one has an orb and a staff.
Renee: He's holding that orb like a skull in a Shakespeare play.
Farone: (Shakespearean Soliloquy) "OH, HORATIO....How I hate these f*cking people..."
**
Tony: So...I did my job. Good.
**
Renee: (To Dave) Oh, I'm so glad I didn't heal you.
**
Todd: The fact that he wanted to hit that gong means we DON'T want to hit that gong.
Travis: I'm a minotaur. We hit gongs.
Farone: What? No you don't!
Todd: Minotaurs have nothing to do with gongs.
Farone: Yeah! You're thinking of Dryads...
**
Todd: Who are you?
Eli: I'm Lupik. Taz's apprentice.
Todd: WHAT are you?
Eli: I'm a goblin.
Todd: No, I'm a goblin. You're way smaller than me.
Eli: I'm a Fey Goblin.
Farone: We didn't ask about his orientation, nor do we care.
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